BOY WANDER by JOBERT E. ABUEVA

 MAILEEN HAMTO Reviews

 

Boy Wander: A Coming of Age Memoir by Jobert E. Abueva

(Rattling Good Yarns Press, LLC, 2023)

 

BOOK LINK 

 

Boy Wander is Jobert Abueva’s heartrending, evocative memoir relaying pivotal moments in his childhood as he awakens into the joys and tribulations of adolescence. His is a coming-of-age story like no other. His story begins on the eve of Martial Law under the Marcos dictatorship, where his father, a prominent political science professor, is suspected of disloyalty to the regime. The increasing threat to the family’s safety led the elder Abueva to seek visiting professorships in the United States, Nepal, Thailand and Japan. Thus, the author and his siblings spent the majority of their childhoods as “third-culture kids,” young people who are raised in a culture outside of their parents’ “passport country.” Abueva eagerly immersed in various experiences in new, albeit temporary, homes. Blossoming into sexual awareness, he realizes his attraction to boys. Adventures into self-discovery teach tough lessons about the pitfalls of desire, the importance of self-preservation, and the gift of gracious friendships.          

 

I read the book from my vantage point as a straight, cisgender Filipina-American woman. I spent my formative years in Manila during the Marcos regime and understand the weight of exile imposed upon those incriminated with plotting against the dictatorship. For readers who are not as familiar with Philippine cultural contexts, Abueva offers a crash course in history and politics, anchored in the tumultuous era. What was most poignant for me was Abueva’s courageous and thought-provoking narrative about growing up gay in the late 1970s, as a Filipino transplant attending a Catholic school in Tokyo. Boy Wander shares the lessons of shame, guilt, and reckoning with one’s true identity. His escapades involved a perilous double life as a straight-A student government leader and an underaged “call boy.” During that time, there was much stigma and secrecy around being gay, leading Abueva to engage in covert, risky, and dangerous behavior.

 

Overcoming years of concealment and condemnation, Abueva pridefully shares his story in Boy Wander. It underscores the importance of standing up for and protecting the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community at all costs. Abueva’s story reminds us that we must continue to advocate for inclusivity so that gay and trans children no longer have to suffer under the weight of societal pressure to conform to heteronormativity. The community has fought hard for recognition and respect, and threats to marriage equality and attacks on the humanity of transgender people endanger the progress achieved over the last few decades.    

 

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Maileen Hamto grew up in Sampaloc, Manila, and now resides in Denver and San Luis Valley, Colorado. She continues to humbly learn from friends and colleagues from the LGBTQIA+ community who generously share the wisdom of their lived experiences. While there is room for LGBTQIA+ identity in Philippine society, many hurdles remain (also here). With the prospect of becoming a dual citizen, Maileen looks forward to being able to vote for Philippine legislation and candidates that prioritize the inclusion of the LGBTQIA+ community. Stateside, Maileen supplements her learning about the LGBTQIA+ community by keeping up-to-date on actions championed by prominent organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign, NBJC,  PFLAG, The Trevor Project, and others.