Amanda [Ngoho] Reavey introduces not so, sea by Mg Roberts
(Durga Press, 2014)
The Art of Surrender
As immigrants from the
Philippines, we know what it is to depart, “departure is the song i give to
you,” and we know what it is to travel from one [non] space to another.
However, what we do not know, or rather, what we underestimate, is what it
takes to arrive.
not so, sea is a weaving of poetic, yet brief narratives, whitespace and
questions. It is writing that pulls together fragments and traces memory through
the inability to “recall details through what’s broken.” Mg Roberts traces the
conflicting desires to go to the edge - to locate boundaries - to surrender -
and to run - to disappear into the jungle.
What is a desire line?
The line that is gazed upon, the horizon line, a parallel line, a possibility.
That we can escape politics: of a nation and of an immigrant body. But in our
desire to begin again, we never considered that something would always pull us
back. That something or someone would always remind us. That there is an
impossibility to arrival. Because in our attempts to cross the sea, our limbs
scattered - fragmented - between continents. Our bodies “arrived, cut.” Our
voices trailing behind in a liminal space, or left in the jungle with the
birds. Split. And thus, we have forgotten where we have come from. Or perhaps,
it is too difficult - painful - to speak of this time before: “Sounds retract
from touch.”
Sound is vibration.
Energy. As an energy worker - Reiki Master - I have noticed that this sound -
this vibration - sometimes gets stuck in the energy channel at the center of
the spine - the sushumna nadi - a silver cord. I am also a watercolor artist.
To paint in watercolor means to be bold in the movement - the narrative - of
the brushstroke - locate the boundaries of the page, letting the colors drip -
run - wherever they need to. Let the energy - the colors - the vibrations - the
sound - rise and release.
not so, sea works similarly. Recalling fragments of memories in brief
narratives. A little bit at a time, the light streams in through the top of the
crown, down the sushumna nadi and out the soles of the feet. To ground the
body. And then it travels up again. To connect the fragments. Thus, the text
becomes an art in finding a balance between locating the edge and running from
it, because it is the release of this sound that allows us - the immigrant
bodies - to continue. And ultimately, to heal. What is this sound? Is it grief?
Mg writes, “I imagine history submerged in my throat.”
In truth, oscillating
between surrender and running need not conflict with one another. not so, sea is a journey in the healing
art of letting go.
*****
Amanda [Ngoho] Reavey
is a Reiki Master, Visual Artist, and Poet.
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